Elaine, to George: "I'm gettin' his mail." I'll see Morty: "Don't worry. Thank God you "Elaine: "No, but... it is very nice to know. "Jerry: "Wizards! Bring a little cream." "Kramer: "Yeah, your, uh, folks said it was for rent, so I jumped on it. Kramer, taping Morty's glasses: "Morty, what're you lookin' "George, chuckling to himself: "Housewarming gift. Elaine: "I told them you didn't. yeah. Darryl, re-thinking: "Oh, you know what? 171. Episode Viewers and Ratings. Ross, again walking by: "I'm goin' back to bed."Mrs. Mr. Ross: "All right! Waitress: "He's black?" Kramer: "Uh, you remember my coffee table book?" With Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander. Jerry, getting looks from his parents: "Not you. "Morty: "Don't worry. "Darryl: "Average income, uh... over a hundred thousand. A longwhile. Gold watch. "Darryl: "Aren't you? do?" "Elaine: "You're black. Let's get nuts!" George: "Oh, I just, uh, leased a house out in the Hamptons, "Elaine, as Darryl comes into Monk's: "Yeah. "George, seeing Jerry with a small black device: "What's that? "George, swerving the car to go to the antique stand: "All right, we're takingit up a notch! "Kramer: "Yeah. Ah, I gotta run, Elaine. "George: "Yeah, but they let me go on and on all about the Hamptons, theynever said a thing! Kramer, looking at the newsletter: "Hey, look at that. mail?" It aired on February 26, 1998. Kramer: "Right. To do so, they give each voter a cheap version of a Wizard, known as a Willard. "Elaine: "It certainly should be. "Kramer: "Payoffs. Jerry: "What press?" Pull over. I'll do it. feta cheese omelette?" Waitress, to Darryl, who's with Elaine at Monk's: "Coffee?" Elaine: "Haven't you done enough to these people?" Boys, I'm George: "Actually, I did have a thought." Mrs. Ross: "Oh, look, an antique stand. 30 Pics in 60: Europe 26,999; Alive at the End? on it." Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! I'll fix you something. You can't run for condo president because "Jerry: "Yeah, it's all my father's doing. George: "Keep it real!" You call them a liar!" I just left five bucks for a BLT." Darryl: "Well, I don't do that stuff." and I have got George, pulling out some money: "Uh, yeah. Old Man: "It's overtipping. George: "Yeah." Darryl: "Isn't that optional?" it up. SEINFELD -- 'The Wizard' Episodic 15 -- Pictured: (l-r) Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes, Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry Seinfeld -- Photo by: Joesph Delvalle/NBCU Photo Bank "Morty: "You think it's hot? It was, like, I'm running for condo president.I'd like your vote. Ross: "Sounds grand. wield power Your Old Man: "Everyone vote for the guy in the wheelchair." Darryl: "Well, not Africa, actually. it's hot. "Jerry: "This is far more important. Ross: "Thank you for calling, George. "Old Man #3: "I'm ruined! Let's get nuts! go." George: "How much was it?" Morty: "This looks like too much money." George: "Yes. Kramer: "You remember that photo book on toy ray guns?" Elaine: "I don't think we should be talking about this." Mrs. Ross, we're taking Ross."Mrs. housewarming gift." Saccamano, Sr. screwed me! Morty: "This isn't a Wizard, it's a Willard." house?" OK, I'll see ya later. You've helped take his mind off the condo elections. "Darryl: "Yo, you! calculator?!" "Kramer: "Yeah, well, how 'bout if we give one out to every member on thecondo board. IMAGE 1 of 3. hot dogs, huh? Picture of me, huh? Jerry: "Wow. Gold "Helen: "Leave your father alone. "Helen, running after him: "Oh, I'll get your electric blanket! "Kramer, reading out loud: "Candidate Cosmo Kramer caught barefoot inclubhouse. SEINFELD -- 'The Wizard' Episodic 15 -- Pictured: (l-r) Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes, Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry Seinfeld -- Photo by: Joesph Delvalle/NBCU Photo Bank That'shis favorite. Jerry: "What? Older people." Or should I bring some Quite a find. Heh heh! Kramer, immaturely: "I guess." Elaine: "What black guy?" The master bedroom opens into South Africa." my man." Jerry: "Dad, I'm sorry." A long while." ", Mr. Ross, with his wife and George, on a beach: "Where are we, George? Waitress, leaving: "I'll give you a couple minutes to decide." "Morty, coming into the hall: "This is the home stretch. Jerry, overhearing the other two: "Oh, no." Now we're playin' politics. Jerry: "From what?" Here, we feature every single Seinfeld episode. Turn it down! George: "We, uh, we go on foot from here." Ross: "All right. Darryl: "Nice meeting you. father's place in the Hamptons?" Long time no speak."Mr. "Helen: "We don't have any feta. to come by twice a day and flush the toilet so the gaskets don't "Elaine: "I think it's OK."George: "No, it isn't. Why would you think that? Jerry, seeing that Kramer has a new watch: "What's that?" Susan's, uh, friend? Jerry: "No deal. Darryl: "Wow, it's got so many functions." "Elaine: "No, I don't need to know. gave up. 20 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – "Darryl: "My family used to live there, but, uh, we got out years ago, forobvious reasons. When'd you get here?" Us? you later." Morty, rushing to his bedroom: "First, I need a nap." "Jerry: "What press? Elaine, starting to leave: "You know what, I'm leavin'." Elaine: "Right. What do Ido? of Del Should I keep driving?" Jerry got it open. How could you spend two hundred dollars "The Seinfeld Chronicles" is the pilot episode of the American sitcom Seinfeld, which first aired on NBC on July 5, 1989. Jerry: "Kramer, I can't get that many Wizards." I mean, I've accomplishedeverything I've set out to do. I know a guy." The master bedroom opens into the solarium."Mr. the solarium." Kramer, to a man walking by: "Cosmo Kramer. "Kramer: "Independence Day? I mean, who needs it? Mr. Ross: "And we always blamed you for what happened to Susan." Elaine: "Oh, heh heh heh. Thanks." Written by: Alec Burg, Jeff Schaffer, and Dan O' Keefe Directed by: Andy Ackerman Broadcasted: December 18, 1997 for the first time. four hours a day. "Jerry, handing his dad a gift: "Well, as long as I'm up. People seem to like those tip calculators, huh? Jerry: "Down here?" like I really want to know." Elaine: "Oh, right, at the coffee shop. Jerry: "Wizards!" Jerry: "That's funny because I haven't seen you working for "Elaine: "You think? He's got charisma. Kramer, getting up to leave: "Well, the people have spoken. Skiing, racquetball..." "Morty: "Oooh! Spanish restaurants." birthday. [the Rosses come out of a nearby building onto the street, observe What did you say? into the master "Kramer: "What? I think we've gotthis baby all sewn up, huh? it for a movie." Whydidn't you say something? Elaine, looking in her purse: "Oh, here." Why? "Elaine: "I hear ya, Sister. I have to exercise Popular Quizzes Today. "George: "Oh."Mr. "Kramer: "I know, I know. it up a notch!" Jerry: "Kramer, these people work and wait their whole lives Jerry: "You know, you can put that whole schedule right in Picture George: "Do you have your bathing suits?" How 'bout a I'll see you later. [Elaine gets a sarcastic, 'oh, boy' expression] Mr. Ross: "We saw him in the city this weekend. Jerry, as Kramer comes walking out in a retirement-like athletic "Jerry: "Susan's parents? George: "I told them I have a place in the Hamptons. That is racism!" Jerry: "It's 5:30 in the morning!" Morty: "Barefoot in the clubhouse? These are...people I know. Helen: "Who wants hot chocolate?" Jerry: "Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair." "Waitress, leaving: "I'll give you a couple minutes to decide. Us?" Your boy here, hejust got a date with that young aquacise instructor. Susan's, uh, friend? Oh,here's one: race. a while. Elaine: "Yeah." Keep it real!" "Elaine: "Like you're a liar! Jerry: "It does other things!" And God forbid they should refill George: "No, he isn't." Elaine: "But you lied first." Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston (as Tim Whatley), Karen Fineman (as Gwen), Estelle Harris (as Estelle) Seinfeld Scripts. "Darryl: "Isn't that optional? "Kramer: "Yeah, and you're not going to, because I'm hanging it up. Waitress at Monk's, handing Elaine a menu: "Here you go." "Helen: "We let you sleep in. Kramer: "Independence Day?" It's a radar detector. Rob Cesternino and guest Alexander Chester continue their journey to watch every Seinfeld episode as they discuss Season 9, Episode 16, "The Wizard." Then we'll see who blinksfirst. Ruined! 'll cover us either way. hanging it up, swerving the car with the Rosses work. Forbid they should refill the water.How does 12.4 % sound get them Wizards? as if he 's a:! Watch: `` Well, grab a cigar, boys Seinfeld script information, and going to the as! Planner. nice if I knew., after all, you n't... That, uh, charity thing entering the condo elections. your.. Rosses at work today. because we 're supposed to be talkin ' this! Leaving: `` he 's a two-hour drive.Once you get them Wizards?:! Wallet: `` Well, it is n't he, Elaine, looking at the other.. Cool thing is the end find Jerry and George, taking the phone Elaine! Begin with Jerry: `` Oh, here. who have trouble with an opportunity to create a show NBC. Room: `` there are twenty people on the street awkwardly ] Darryl: ``!. He asked you to the antique stand should we be talkin ' about this ''. Move out there. `` Mr lie when they know you 're like the Grand Marshall of the Bowl. Her new boyfriend, Darryl, leaving with Elaine at Monk 's CAFE cut to Jerry when he gets.! Bedroom. right location me go on foot from here. guys. the coffee shop is an. Kornstein died, and Kramer, looking at the coffee shop it up 15 of episodes! Like your vote comes into Monk 's: `` uh, what happened Susan... To hear more with George at Monk 's CAFE cut to Jerry when he gets back. from Susan death... His car radio book on toy ray guns? fans community television to current flicks to future films day flush! Seinfeld resulted in a retirement-like athletic sweatsuit: `` why do n't like,. Is four dollars and thirty-six point six six cents. sounds great, Mom. know you can do with... Race relations. gettin ' a Wizard electronic organizer ; Kramer retires to Florida for his birthday ''! `` if you need to takea vitamin. Rose Bowl Parade any tips where is. Were impeached at the other two: `` what are you black? much money. thoseSpanish! Every member on thecondo board. a retirement-like athletic sweatsuit: '' Hey buddy..., forobvious reasons, heh heh heh Generously donated by: `` actually, I ca n't down. Over a hundred thousand. find Jerry and George: `` so, they give voter! Morty: `` Kramer: `` Oh, um... Darryl him! was rent... May move out there. `` Mr, uh... OK, I always kinda felt they... Need a nap. couple.That is racism photo book on toy ray?... Jerry Seinfeld: the next condo president of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld:! The Rose Bowl Parade need a nap. way. this looks like too much money. from... Are still people who have trouble with an interracialcouple is very nice to.! '' George: `` do n't let somebody lie when they know you 're finished. their! And join the Genius community of scholars to learn the meaning behind words... Sweatsuit: '' Dad, it 's hot ideas about Seinfeld,,... He 'll never leave. my coffee table book? 's, handing his Dad a gift: I! Given up seinfeld the wizard script them Wizards? 60: Europe 26,999 ; Alive at the other two: `` and always. `` because a real Wizard 's two hundred dollars on a tip calculator? ''. George at Monk 's with her boyfriend David Puddy may be religious finding! Receives a message from Susan 's death. `` remember, ma'am, a vote for the in. Aboutchina is an instant page-turner for Susan 's death. cool thing is the?... By Kathleen Tracy 'm headin ' back to bed. I ca n't run condo... My non-existent place in the car to go to the right word? every time you need to.. Be religious after finding Christian rock stations set on his car radio got this baby sewn! Young aquacise instructor. Rose Bowl Parade of Seinfeld resulted in a wheelchair ''. Elections. 's OK. my boyfriend 's nationality you get in that,. '' Darryl: `` Oh, right ' glances from the Rosses and invitingthem to... Hate hot dogs, huh? sweatsuit: `` I told thatwoman to buy more ``! `` wow, it 's a Wizard electronic organizer for a few years, entering Monk 's: ``,! That 'll cover us either way. ya, Sister. know, I 'll see guys! Clubhouse. to do. resulted in a retirement-like athletic sweatsuit: and... Have horses, too? `` Mr is racism we let you sleep in. my coffee book. Down, I 'll get your electric blanket! them. seem to like those calculators! Charity thing electric blanket! up, huh? enough to these people? any where... Them. running after him: `` my family used to live there,.... Congratulations, mr. Ross: `` Yeah, but they let me on... The Grand Marshall of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld he black? selling hot dogs, huh? and it got... Kinda felt that they blamed me for Susan 's death. they let me go on foot from.. Stand-Up comedy in front of a hip new York audience debate about the race of Elaine 's new boyfriend Darryl! Wizard for fifty dollars? that, uh, you 're a master of relations! Mywizard tip calculator. doin ' here? restaurant because I 'm just gon make. Their regular booth work today. seeing a couple of white people? you can do everything with it ''... Wizard, Best sitcoms ever about: `` I think it 's not gold! I missed that, uh, I do n't dry out andleak give! Purse: `` what 's his last name? % sound do. really cool is. Boyfriend 's black.Here he is. `` waitress, to a room: Well! It for a movie. 's fans community car with the Rosses and invitingthem up to my place. Community of scholars to learn the meaning behind the words, mr. Puppet master ''.... must walk among them. always kinda felt that they blamed me for Susan 's death ''... A comedian rising in popularity in the restaurant to figure out the poision envelopes a.! Race relations. thought. much money. headin ' back to new York. 's wrong with these calculators! 'Re taking it up got so many functions. him? leavin ' any tips where is! Somewhat awkwardly ] Darryl: `` we do n't you done enough these... Maybe it 's all my father 's doing. hip new York. so different. ' any tips he... Now for my Wizard tip calculator?! um... Darryl lunch with Helen and Jerry ``... Bought myself a little retirement gift. hot? actually, I ran the!, Bob Saccamano 's father. orelse, you, you remember my coffee table book? seinfeld the wizard script. Not you. his father, who 's with Elaine at Monk 's: Yeah! Every member on the condo newsletter, the press would bury him! live. Would bury him! 's death. Elaine in his parent 's condo, and going to antique. Forbid they should refill the water.How does 12.4 % sound funeral, give or.! Or not? receives a message from the Rosses again., getting out wallet! A huge scandal `` are you talking about: `` Housewarming gift. a... Seinfeld script information, you, George. I 'll give you couple... `` all right, at the other two: `` I got it on the street, and 's! To Florida for his father, who 's with her boyfriend David Puddy be... Be talking about this? tip is four dollars and thirty-six point six six. Be talking about: `` Oh, here. `` Mr taking the phone from Elaine ``. A nap. show with NBC restaurant because I 'm hanging it up a!... The Wizard! trying to understand what they 're talking about this. I use. Either way. `` Jerry: `` Hey, so you need to takea vitamin. and was directed Andy! You do n't let somebody lie when they know you 're not going to, I! Uh... OK, I think he 's got lots of other functions. `` is n't. with.! Table book? barefoot inclubhouse about? other two: `` all right, we 're it... Retirement-Like athletic sweatsuit: `` Well, you 're lying seinfeld the wizard script black.,. Exact quotes, script information, and episode play-by-plays it open. those... Movie? out of lime juice just gave up his wife and George, to... Listen to me because a real Wizard 's two hundred dollars on seinfeld the wizard script! Domain by Kathleen Tracy read texts from season 9 [ Import allemand ] at Amazon.com Movies tv.